![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Thanksgiving thoughts
Nov. 28th, 2004 10:45 amThis weekend, 
Brian, Zack, my family (minus my brother Danya) and I went down to Hanford (near Fresno) for a family reunion. My mom's family does this every year the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and it's a big deal to me. I don't much care for astrology and think it's silly, but I can't deny that in many ways I am very close to the stereotype of the Cancerian - family and home are extremely important to me. It was kind of a big deal for Brian to join us, too. I was worried that it was going to be horrible for him, but I know he understands how important family is to me and how much I would like for him to be a part of my family (of course, to some extent he already is). I think he enjoyed it, though, and so did Zack.
I can't really put it into words, but it feels like we made a big step forward in commitment. It's a little odd to me to feel this way, since we were already about as committed to one another as I could imagine, as much as is possible without being married or sharing a home together. But, as one of my Baha'i aunties told me, it's a step forward in joining our families together.
I have so many thoughts about the future swirling around in my head. I don't know what's ahead, but I know at least a little bit about what I want, though I'm not sure how to make it happen. This semester has been extremely stressful for me, with periodic freakouts about my future and my ability to make the future I want come about. Brian has been very reassuring and helpful about this stuff and tries very hard to ease the pressure, but I still feel it.
Today I have to write a 10 page paper for my archaeology class which is due tomorrow and all I have is an outline. I'm sure I can get it done, if I can get myself focused on it. Focus is the real issue; every time I start to work on school projects, my mind starts to wander to other things. I'm really ready to be done with all the school deadlines and stress, at least for a little while.
At the beginning of the month, I went to a presentation on the MA in Translation and Interpretation program at The Monterey Institute, and found out that I really need to go live in Japan for two years if I want to pursue a career in translation. I don't think I want to do that, but it could be that I'm just so burned out on school and studying right now, and that I'm really focused on other things, other future possibilities that don't seem to include that. I'm still thinking about it a bit, though, mostly because I really don't know what I want to do, or what kind of work I'll be able to find without further experience/training.
Mostly I'm feeling positive and hopeful today. The things that are really important to me (family, relationships) are within my grasp, and I'm very very happy about that. I think the rest will eventually fall into place, as long as I stay focused.
Brian, Zack, my family (minus my brother Danya) and I went down to Hanford (near Fresno) for a family reunion. My mom's family does this every year the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and it's a big deal to me. I don't much care for astrology and think it's silly, but I can't deny that in many ways I am very close to the stereotype of the Cancerian - family and home are extremely important to me. It was kind of a big deal for Brian to join us, too. I was worried that it was going to be horrible for him, but I know he understands how important family is to me and how much I would like for him to be a part of my family (of course, to some extent he already is). I think he enjoyed it, though, and so did Zack.I can't really put it into words, but it feels like we made a big step forward in commitment. It's a little odd to me to feel this way, since we were already about as committed to one another as I could imagine, as much as is possible without being married or sharing a home together. But, as one of my Baha'i aunties told me, it's a step forward in joining our families together.
I have so many thoughts about the future swirling around in my head. I don't know what's ahead, but I know at least a little bit about what I want, though I'm not sure how to make it happen. This semester has been extremely stressful for me, with periodic freakouts about my future and my ability to make the future I want come about. Brian has been very reassuring and helpful about this stuff and tries very hard to ease the pressure, but I still feel it.
Today I have to write a 10 page paper for my archaeology class which is due tomorrow and all I have is an outline. I'm sure I can get it done, if I can get myself focused on it. Focus is the real issue; every time I start to work on school projects, my mind starts to wander to other things. I'm really ready to be done with all the school deadlines and stress, at least for a little while.
At the beginning of the month, I went to a presentation on the MA in Translation and Interpretation program at The Monterey Institute, and found out that I really need to go live in Japan for two years if I want to pursue a career in translation. I don't think I want to do that, but it could be that I'm just so burned out on school and studying right now, and that I'm really focused on other things, other future possibilities that don't seem to include that. I'm still thinking about it a bit, though, mostly because I really don't know what I want to do, or what kind of work I'll be able to find without further experience/training.
Mostly I'm feeling positive and hopeful today. The things that are really important to me (family, relationships) are within my grasp, and I'm very very happy about that. I think the rest will eventually fall into place, as long as I stay focused.
